The ToiBocks Blog

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Had a BLAST with my four year old doing some ad shots for ToiBocks. Thought I’d share this one. He’s just so content to be playing with his “space ships.”

Nick plays with the "space ships" he "found"

Getting an amazingly discreet product in the mail soon and I want to do a contest… any ideas?

As ToiBocks starts to grow as a brand we are hearing so many stories about innocent things that turned embarrassing all the way up to a very personal story of a girl who’s life was affected by what her parents chose not to hide very well that skewed her sense of boundaries just as she was starting puberty.

When we started ToiBocks we expected people to like the product, we were in testing for years, what was pleasantly surprising was how many people take the time to contact us to express real gratitude.

One of the emails that we received was from a grandfather in Virginia. His daughter bought him the ToiBocks when her baby started toddling after the baby grabbed grandpa’s pipe, presumably thinking it was for bubbles. Fortunately mama caught it before the baby actually put the pipe in her mouth. Now whenever she brings her baby to her dad’s house, he puts his pipes away in his ToiBocks.

You may not have ‘adult’ category items to hide, but your privacy is important to you. We get emails all the time about a roommate/child/babysitter/mother-in-law/housekeeper who couldn’t keep their hands off and nose out of the owner’s things. It’s more than an invasion of privacy and often more than just an embarrassing moment. Sometimes, depending on what was ‘found,’ it can damage your feeling of security and you may be left feeling violated. Additionally you run the risk of the ‘finder’ sharing what they found. It’s one thing to explain your gag ball to your six year old, it’s quite another to explain it to his playdate.., or worse, his parents.

Keep the emails coming folks. We’re so happy to have solved your problem and so grateful you continue to tell us so.

So, lovers of ToiBocks, keep spreading the word about how ToiBocks is working hard to help keep your private stuff private!

I’ve read it in the news before, how a child had drowned during a party in the backyard. I always wondered how it was possible… how could a child die with people standing around?

I pulled these from articles on the net…

- Brianna’s mother and three other children were in and around the pool at the time.

- About 20 people were in the yard and pool area when someone noticed the boy, who had last been seen on a floating chair, at the bottom of the pool

Well I learned first hand exactly how a child can drown with a bunch of people not only standing around the pool, but with kids swimming just near the drowning child…

It went like this, a happy occasion, the last day of school! Perfect, right? About 15 parents and 10 children are hanging out at a friend’s house. I was standing about 40 feet from the edge of the pool having a conversation with someone when he made a noise like ‘eh,’ I’m not even sure what prompted the noise, but at that point I shifted my focus from my four year old, in his life jacket, standing inside the jacuzzi and I started watching an argument between an 8 year old girl and her 10 year old brother. They were hanging onto a float on opposite sides of a boy who was sitting in the float. The brother twisted the float so the sister lost her grip on it and she began to swim away.

Now the sister is a strong swimmer, really strong. I had noticed her swimming for over an hour now and she’s very skilled. She had, however, exhausted herself arguing with her brother. She started swimming to the opposite edge and a few strokes into went down the first time. I’m not a strong swimmer. I get in the middle of the deep end and I panic, having almost drown myself in a lake at 13 years old, I just don’t have ‘deep end confidence.’ I started walking toward the pool at this point, just to make sure that she was OK because kids do things that I would deem risky and they come out of it alright…

By the time I made it to the edge of the pool this little girl was a foot under the water in the dead man’s float. I didn’t think, I didn’t speak, with my hat and all my clothes on (but thank goodness my phone was in my bag) I dove in. I didn’t know if anyone else was watching, but I knew she wasn’t breathing and I needed to get her out of the water.

I pushed her up out of the water toward the edge and struggled to get my head above water and yelled ‘HELP.’ A few people at the party said that, at that point, they thought my baby must have fallen in. Everyone came to the edge of the pool and they pulled the girl out. She began coughing and breathing immediately, thank goodness. Then they helped me out of the pool.

Honestly, it was surreal. I wasn’t even sure until I hit the edge of the pool that the girl was in trouble and she was already drowning at that point, it was mere seconds. In as long as it takes to take 15 steps she went from swimming to drowning.

Needless to say, all my father in-laws concerns about someone being in the backyard when the kids are swimming are valid. It’s not enough to be in the house watching them from the door…

All those people standing around, four kids swimming within FIVE feet of this girl and nobody noticed. Had my friend not made that noise, ‘eh,’ I would not have been looking either. He didn’t even make the noise about the kids, he doesn’t remember what prompted the noise…

As to the mom of the kids, one could point the finger, but you can’t watch your kids constantly… eventually you turn your head to answer a question or pour some more cola or put ketchup on your hot dog… it could have been my kid just as easily as hers. Nothing looked amiss what-so-ever, truly.

After discussing it with a friend she recommended all the adults treat the pool like a sport. Once you get many adults and many kids, it is really zone defense, some areas are covered by many defenders (bar, food), and some zones just have one defender, and for some reason, some zones are holes. If there are no players in your zone, you look at the cheerleaders (as my brothers say referring to the wives or food or beer). Which is comical, but it might just work.

Whatever you do, please dispel the thought that it won’t happen to you, or in your backyard, or to your kids because I can tell you right now, it doesn’t happen like you think it will and in the blink of an eye you could be looking at a 911 call, which would of course ruin your bbq.

Stay safe!

Trying to think of a fundraiser for your kids school? Don’t discount the power of recycling!

Our fourth grade classes this year had 66 students. Every Thursday we encouraged the kids to bring in their cans and bottles from home. We had parent volunteers to separate, transport and unload the recycling at a local center.

Our goal was to pay for our whale watching annual boat trip for the fourth graders. Total $1,500. This way none of the parents had to pull out the wallet for the (expensive) field trip.

I’m happy to say WE DID IT! We raised just over $1,500!!

The kids received ‘bucks’ each time they recycled that could be used towards a homework pass. I would keep the kids updated as to how much we had raised at various intervals, to keep them excited. As the end of the efforts drew near I picked up some balloons and smarties and the kids who brought in recycling got one of those in addition to the bucks… what a difference that made!

Next year I’ll be helping with the 5th grade recycling program as my son moves into 5th grade. Every class from K – 5 (except 4th grade) will be bringing in recycling. It’s a bit of a messy job and requires no less than 6 – 10 volunteers (to sort, drive, unload, make deposits, etc). It helps a lot too if the teachers are on board with the program because they encourage the kids as well. The end result is that we’ll be able to raise a LOT of money for the grad party, field trips, etc. that we wouldn’t normally get and with the budget cuts going on at LAUSD it’s more critical than ever to do fundraising!

You’re helping the environment, teaching your kids good recycling habits and raising money at the same time! It’s a home run fundraiser!

I’m really proud of the kids (and the volunteers) and truly looking forward to figuring out how to inspire next years students to step up their game!

The honor, the sacrifice, they’re playing for keeps
They’re brothers in arms while the rest of us sleep
My gratitude over flows into tears for the lost
Who defended our flag at any cost
For me and my children they risk their lives
So freedom and country may survive
For the standing and the fallen I sing out my thanks
To my heroes who choose to stand in their ranks
Not just in this moment, not just on holiday
For every day past and every to come
For your brothers and sisters, your mothers and wives
Your courage humbles and inspires and thrives and
in my house, made safe by your service and
in my heart, made full by your story
you will always have a special place.

DMT – Memorial Day 2010

I always get choked up when it comes to our military.

My grandfather was in the Navy. He served on the Hancock when it got plowed by a kamikaze pilot. He survived that only because his bestest bud insisted that he take a nap and he took grandpa’s shift in the very spot where the kamikaze hit. I still have a vase that my grandfather carried from Shanghi to Bangkok. His sacrifice will never be forgotten by me or my children.

My father was a MP staff sergeant in the Army. Stationed at Tan Son Knut he was a dog handler, one of the guys who always saw ‘the shit.’ Years later, after I was born at US Army Tripler General in Oahu Hawaii, the injuries he sustained would lead to many years of testing, surgeries, pain, medications, stim boxes, lost sleep, quick tempers, mental anguish. There are those, even in my life, who doubt the severity of his suffering yet I am not one of them. Eventually declared 100% disabled by the military, my father never aspired to be more than a disabled Vietnam veteran. Not because he wasn’t capable of aspiring to greater things but because he was so terribly frightened of losing the medical benefits he knew he would need for the rest of his life. Yes, he could have taken that job that he could have done from home. The one that would’ve enabled him to pay for his house and many other luxuries indeed, yet had he done so he would have lost his benefits and if he later discovered he could not continue he would not be able to go back to where he was. When you’re living with unbearable pain you can ignore it for awhile, but reality always comes back to slap you in the face.

My father gave his life for Vietnam. Not the life he’s living, but the life he maybe could have lived. He sacrificed every ‘opportunity’ that threatened his security. In many ways he sacrificed my childhood for Vietnam. It’s been difficult for me not to resent the fact that I could never jump and play with my dad as a kid, that he inherited a terrible temper from his own father that I feel was made worse by the memories he held and the pain he lived with every day.

My patriotism is weaved into the very fabric of who I am. I feel that although I never enlisted, I also served – as a daughter and granddaughter of two incredibly brave men who carried the memories of their experiences for many years to come. I am choked up by every sacrifice – the time away from families, the harsh conditions, the injuries, the deaths, the hardships of those left behind – it moves me. Deeply.

God bless each and every one of you who signed on the dotted line for a cause greater than individuality.

Here is an amazing story I read yesterday. I tried to read it to my kids but had to hand it over to my 12 year old daughter because I got the bites in the eyes and the hitch in the breath trying to read it myself… it is about the ‘Arlington Lady’ and gives a good view of the dedication military women feel for those who are where they once were – be sure to have a tissue handy http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/37416579/ns/us_news-life/

First, I want to thank Tamara Bell for giving me an outlet for my writing and to all the folks who’ve contacted me to say they enjoyed my articles.  I always enjoy writing and it’s nice to see something that I’ve done helping someone else and perhaps helping them avoid some of the mistakes I’ve made along the way.

This article was written for folks who are running their own party plan but it really applies well to anyone who is in business for themselves.

Running ToiBocks has been the hardest thing I’ve ever done.  The sacrifices, the heartache, the joy and the elation from hearing that first ‘gasp’ when a person sees how the ToiBocks works for the first time… the emotions really run the gamut!

Anyway, here is the article:

If it is to be it’s up to me?

By Dawn Tulman
President, ToiBocks Inc.

Years ago I was involved in a major multi-level marketing organization and while that turned out to be not my cup of tea, I learned quite a bit from the support materials of books, tapes and quotes.  One of the most repeated quotes was “If it is to be, it’s up to me!”  I repeated it with fervor, making it my mantra, thinking it represented “I can do it.”  Now, all these years later I wonder if the law of attraction didn’t kick in at some point and essentially create a self-fulfilling prophecy for me?

I say this because it turned out for me that it did end up being completely up to me… almost all of it – the sales, marketing, bookkeeping, administrative tasks, meetings, phone calls, emails.  I found myself doing it all.  As my business grows I’m able to add on key people who can handle some of these things for me, but in the end it is my responsibility to make sure these things are getting done the right way in the right time period because if the people I’ve chosen to do those things don’t do them, I am the one who has to or I’m the one who suffers the most.

Owning my own business has been a lot like raising a child. I was the one who had to feed it, clothe it, socialize it, give it goals and nurture it.  Just like when you have a kid, there are supportive folks in the periphery, your parents, your siblings or other family, teachers, team leaders… but at the end of the day it’s you they come home to, you who are ultimately responsible for helping them grow into good little people.  It’s absolutely critical to have the right kind of support system.  Fortunately, for me, I made friends with a lot of influential people in my industry and business in general.  When I’m stuck on something I give them a call and they help me as best as they can.  I don’t have an “association” like HPPPA to readily give me answers to questions that I don’t even know I need to ask yet.  If I did, I’d jump on it with both feet for sure. I think www.score.org is the closest I’ve ever come.

Being in business is like playing chess, you have to always be thinking ahead to your next move and when you make a mistake, you need to think about what will prevent that mistake from happening again.  I recently took my kids to track practice and someone put a coupon for a basketball clinic on my windshield.  “Who would need that?” my son asked.  “Anyone who wants to be really good at basketball, maybe they want to play professionally.  Everyone who wants to be a professional ‘anything’ needs to get their mentoring from someone.  Whether it’s basketball or business, you can’t survive without mentors.”  Who is your mentor?  Who is giving you the creativity to come up with new ideas to keep your business strong and make it grow?  On this fifth anniversary of the HPPPA I wanted to bring extra attention to what your membership can really do for you.

Want to know what the latest and greatest toys are?  Want to know if a company you’re thinking about carrying has ever had any problems with their products?  Want to find out what distributors are closest to you to save on shipping costs, or offer the most variety of products, or have great customer service?  Want to find out the best samples to use as give-aways at your parties?  Want to learn what issues are affecting party planners at the moment?  Have a tax question?  Want to find out which tradeshows give you the best bang for your buck or which are closest to you for the least expensive travel options?  Want to know what software is good for keeping track of your inventory and your reps?  Need someone to look over your marketing plan?  Need to know how to create a marketing plan?  Need some training?  Want to learn to be more effective?  Needs some tips on how to keep a party going or how to book more parties?  These are all things you might not even have thought of, but they are all benefits to being a member of the HPPPA.

Sometimes we don’t even know what we need and it’s good to have someone to ask “This is my business, have I thought of everything or am I in for a surprise?”  Often, associating with people who have already done what you’re doing or what you want to do will help you figure out the chess moves before you even sit down to play.  Talking with someone about what it is working and what isn’t can help you pinpoint how to turn your shot into a 3 pointer.

Ultimately yes, if it is to be it’s up to me.  Up to me to ask the right questions, to make the right choices, and to know where to go to help formulate the answers.  It’s up to me to find the right people to help me do what I do best!

If you haven’t already signed up to be a member of HPPPA, it’s up to you to do so.

Dawn Tulman is the president of ToiBocks Inc.; she’s been married for 13 years and has three children.  ToiBocks is a jewelry box with a hidden lock mechanism that enables you to keep your intimate items on the nightstand for easy access while keeping out sticky fingers and prying eyes. The idea for ToiBocks was inspired when Dawn’s oldest daughter “discovered” one of her novelties in the nightstand and she could not find a product that met her need to keep her toys handy and secure right out in the open. For more information visit www.toibocks.com or contact Dawn at 818.395.8558.

I’ve seen quite a few articles and emails about products that are NOT made in the USA.  Everyone wants to support companies that are ‘made in the USA’ and for big companies like Colgate, I completely agree.  There’s no reason why Colgate cannot have their factory here in the US to create jobs and stimulate the economy.

I decided, as a small business entrepreneur, to bring to light how incredibly difficult it is for an inventor to actually start out getting “Made in the USA.”

For me, I still have yet to find a wood mill that can make my product.  So far I had two that said they could, but the samples were not up to snuff (the drawer wouldn’t even come out of the ToiTissue sample they made).  Then I found a guy in Ohio, only to find out he will have them made in China and import them to his wood mill.  I have posted requests for quotes on wood manufacturing websites, I’ve google searched, I’ve inquired everywhere I could think, but no luck.

You can find all kind of websites that will tell you what products are made here, but not very many that will tell you who can make your own stuff here…

Coincidentally (or maybe not if you believe in the law of attraction), I sat down to write this blog post just before I left to go to the International Lingerie show in Vegas.  I couldn’t get the Word press interface to work so I postponed the post.  Then at the show I met a guy who is friends with a wood worker who is interested in making my product.  We’re talking now and who knows where it will go but until I achieve my goal of having ToiBocks “made in the USA” I’m going to keep trying.

Then the question becomes, can I afford to be “Made in the USA”?  Feedback on the ToiBocks products now is that they’re a little ‘pricey.’ If I can work out manufacturing here I know it will be more expensive than in China so I would have to raise my prices.  I would have more ‘buy American’ customers, but how many ‘I can’t afford that’ customers would I lose?

Ah the trials and tribulations of being an entrepreneur…

Dawn’s tip of the day – Plan your menu in advance to save time and money; and reduce stress and waste.

So here’s a blog post on one of my favorite things… Saving Money! I feed my family of five for about $80/week in groceries – breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks… the works – often that includes laundry soap, dog food and other grocery type items too – not always, but often.

I teach a class on grocery shopping for low income folks – like women in transition at Haven Hills (domestic violence center – learn more about them here: http://havenhills.org I worked for them as a Facilities Manager for a year and did all their grocery shopping – please consider them if you’re looking to donate durable goods, new clothes, food or always welcome – cash); I also taught teens transitioning off onto their own at LA Youth Network (helps some of the more than 10,000 homeless teens on the streets of LA – learn more about them here www.layn.org – did you know you can feed a homeless teen for just $5 a day?); and The Promises Foundation’s Miriam’s House, an amazingly warm place where women battling addiction have a safe place to stay with their children – learn more about them here: Promises Foundation )

By the way, if you know of an organization close to West Hills who would benefit from my classes feel free to contact me or comment on this blog, I’m always looking for new people to help – which is why I decided, in this economy, that although my system of shopping is completely common sense, a lot of people (just like me) never thought about shopping this way so I’m sharing. One of my favorite quotes is “You don’t know what you don’t know until you know you don’t know it!”

In it’s simplest form, here it is – just implementing this one step from my class will put you on the path to saving a boat load of money. Plan your menu! Implement what works for you, replace or revise what doesn’t apply and let the savings begin!

So I sit down on a Saturday (or any other day) and I plan dinner for Sat night through Thursday night (we have take out every Friday). I take a look at what meat is on sale at 2 of the 3 stores I shop at (I shop at Costco, Vallarta and Vons). I have the family together choose what meals I’m going to make, example: I need a pork dish – they choose Hoisin Pork Noodles, Pork Chops, Pork Stir Fry or some other pork dish). Because the meat is on sale in the Value Pack we pick 2 nights of pork that week. This week’s menu plan is:

Sat – Wedding Day Soup (chicken, meatballs, lots of veggies, noodles)
Sun – Beef Fajitas (beef, tortillas, peppers/onions, beans, rice, tomato and sour cream)
Mon – Hoisin Pork Noodles (pork, red pepper, snow peas, bean sprouts, green onion, peanuts and sauce)
Tues – Crab Rangoon (egg roll wrapper, cream cheese, mock crab, Worcestershire, soy sauce and garlic) and Chicken stir fry (chicken, red pepper, green onion, carrot, broccoli, snow peas and rice)
Wed – Gyros (chicken, pita bread, red onion, spices, rice, tomato), Hummus (chick peas, tahini, olive oil, garlic) and Tzatsiki (cucumber, sour cream, garlic and sugar)
Thurs – Baked Shells with Chicken and Cheese (shells, chicken, Monterrey Jack cheese, garlic salt, garlic and parsley)

Once the menu plan is done I add all the ingredients I don’t already have to my grocery list, plus other stuff we might need like milk, bread, cereal, peanut butter and then I shop. I only buy what’s on my list (unless I see a super deal on something I can use for next week’s menu).

My groceries for this meal plan were $72 – keeping in mind that I already some of the stuff in the house from previous grocery shopping trips – noodles, rice, beans, sour cream, garlic, spices, pitas, soy/Worcestershire/hosin sauces and sugar. This is a regular thing – buy in bulk and you don’t have to buy as often and your weekly bill is lower. With the vegetables I only purchase enough to make the meals I needed to make, there is no waste and the cost is much lower. I was also able to purchase cereal, brownie mix and other things with this week’s stuff. Cereal is always on sale somewhere – I usually get it at Vons (safeway). The boxes go on sale 2 for $4 or 5 for $10 and I stock up. I’ve never purchased a box of cereal at regular price.

By implementing this common sense method of grocery shopping I not only save money and reduce waste but also reduce my stress levels.

How many times have you stared into the abyss of your fridge wondering what to make for dinner? How many times have you had to answer the question “What’s for dinner mom?” How many times have you heard “I don’t like _____.” How many times have you started making something only to discover you were out of one of the ingredients, were too far into it to scrap it and had to run to the store? How many “extra” trips do you make to the grocery store? This plan can eliminate all of that for you.

Try it out. I think you’ll see the difference almost right away – if you do, please share your experiences here in the comments for those who come after you.

Happy Shopping!
Dawn

I am a regular contributor to the Home Pleasure Party Plan Association’s magazine for their members. Thought I’d share this month’s article with you all. Note this is written for people who are party plan people, but the heart of the message is for everyone.

Valentine’s Day is all about the love
By Dawn Tulman

There are two ways to look at Valentine’s Day. One is as a special day set aside to acknowledge your love to your “Valentine.” The other is as a day to do what you should be doing all year long.

I used to not celebrate Valentine’s Day. I always made it a point to be romantic on a regular basis, to do sweet things for my beau, to be adventurous in the boudoir. Then I had three kids and sometimes… I don’t even remember to shower, much less invite him in with me! Now Valentine’s Day is having more meaning to me, is becoming more special because I know it will be OUR day. Yes, it’s ideal to have a day without your children on a regular basis but it’s not always possible, so I know I can count on this one day and plan for extras along the way.

I got an email from a customer who wrote to tell me that she’s using her ToiBocks to spice up her love life. When she first got it she hid some fuzzy handcuffs, a blind fold, a massage candle and a feather inside and handed the box to her mate. Once he figured out how to get inside (she had to help him) he used those items with her. She made little game out of it. The ToiBocks on her nightstand holds her favorite, regularly used toys and the one on his is their “game” box. They take turns putting different things inside and then he “unpacks” it like a little love kit for their intimate time together. Consider doing this for your customers. Making a little “list” of things that go well together for a romantic, intimate evening.

To me, intimate time is as important as privacy. What have you done lately for your mate? Maybe in your business you could make up a little card with some “love tips” to hand out at your parties. You are probably exposed to a great many ideas in your line of work and you can share those to enhance the experiences of those you’re selling to. Call it your “Top Ten Ideas for a Romantic Interlude” or something enticing. List out a few scenarios, print it on pink paper and see how many relationships you enhance with your ideas.

Encourage your customers to learn how to make more time for intimacy. For parents with children at home, suggest starting an “evening out” exchange with someone who has children their age. Every other week one set takes the others children and then you switch. Use that time alone to really spend some quality time with your partner, not cleaning the house! For customers who have no children talk about the “why” intimacy is so important. Women are all about the advice, considering copying some articles on intimacy and having them on the table for your customers to read during down times in your presentation. Encourage the women in the room to share how they make time for intimacy.

Make it a point to stand out from other people who do what you do. Develop your brand as someone who cares more about the customer than how much they purchase and the purchases will increase before you know it!

Dawn Tulman is the president of ToiBocks Inc.; she’s been married for 13 years and has three children. ToiBocks is a jewelry box with a hidden lock mechanism that enables you to keep your intimate items on the nightstand for easy access while keeping out sticky fingers and prying eyes. The idea for ToiBocks was inspired when Dawn’s oldest daughter “discovered” one of her novelties in the nightstand and she could not find a product that met her need to keep her toys handy and secure right out in the open. For more information visit www.toibocks.com or call 818.392.8558.