The ToiBocks Blog

The honor, the sacrifice, they’re playing for keeps
They’re brothers in arms while the rest of us sleep
My gratitude over flows into tears for the lost
Who defended our flag at any cost
For me and my children they risk their lives
So freedom and country may survive
For the standing and the fallen I sing out my thanks
To my heroes who choose to stand in their ranks
Not just in this moment, not just on holiday
For every day past and every to come
For your brothers and sisters, your mothers and wives
Your courage humbles and inspires and thrives and
in my house, made safe by your service and
in my heart, made full by your story
you will always have a special place.

DMT – Memorial Day 2010

I always get choked up when it comes to our military.

My grandfather was in the Navy. He served on the Hancock when it got plowed by a kamikaze pilot. He survived that only because his bestest bud insisted that he take a nap and he took grandpa’s shift in the very spot where the kamikaze hit. I still have a vase that my grandfather carried from Shanghi to Bangkok. His sacrifice will never be forgotten by me or my children.

My father was a MP staff sergeant in the Army. Stationed at Tan Son Knut he was a dog handler, one of the guys who always saw ‘the shit.’ Years later, after I was born at US Army Tripler General in Oahu Hawaii, the injuries he sustained would lead to many years of testing, surgeries, pain, medications, stim boxes, lost sleep, quick tempers, mental anguish. There are those, even in my life, who doubt the severity of his suffering yet I am not one of them. Eventually declared 100% disabled by the military, my father never aspired to be more than a disabled Vietnam veteran. Not because he wasn’t capable of aspiring to greater things but because he was so terribly frightened of losing the medical benefits he knew he would need for the rest of his life. Yes, he could have taken that job that he could have done from home. The one that would’ve enabled him to pay for his house and many other luxuries indeed, yet had he done so he would have lost his benefits and if he later discovered he could not continue he would not be able to go back to where he was. When you’re living with unbearable pain you can ignore it for awhile, but reality always comes back to slap you in the face.

My father gave his life for Vietnam. Not the life he’s living, but the life he maybe could have lived. He sacrificed every ‘opportunity’ that threatened his security. In many ways he sacrificed my childhood for Vietnam. It’s been difficult for me not to resent the fact that I could never jump and play with my dad as a kid, that he inherited a terrible temper from his own father that I feel was made worse by the memories he held and the pain he lived with every day.

My patriotism is weaved into the very fabric of who I am. I feel that although I never enlisted, I also served – as a daughter and granddaughter of two incredibly brave men who carried the memories of their experiences for many years to come. I am choked up by every sacrifice – the time away from families, the harsh conditions, the injuries, the deaths, the hardships of those left behind – it moves me. Deeply.

God bless each and every one of you who signed on the dotted line for a cause greater than individuality.

Here is an amazing story I read yesterday. I tried to read it to my kids but had to hand it over to my 12 year old daughter because I got the bites in the eyes and the hitch in the breath trying to read it myself… it is about the ‘Arlington Lady’ and gives a good view of the dedication military women feel for those who are where they once were – be sure to have a tissue handy http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/37416579/ns/us_news-life/